Traditional Chinese Women - Do They Make Good Wives?

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Chinese ladies are increasingly popular as Asian wives. If my observations on the streets of London are anything to go by then I'd say that Chinese wives are becoming even more popular than Thai or Filipino wives. But while Chinese ladies are becoming popular with Western men, they can be difficult to understand. Here are some thoughts on traditional Chinese women, and whether they're the best type of Chinese wife to go for.

A lot of men like the idea of finding Chinese brides directly from China. They by-pass all the many Chinese ladies already living in the USA, Canada, Australia and Western Europe. They often even by-pass the many English speaking ladies on sites like Chinese Love Links. In fact I believe that I am in the minority of guys who prefer to contact the ladies who speak good to excellent English.

Why is this so?

As far as finding ladies from the People's Republic go, well that's easy. These ladies are perceived as being much more traditional.

But what does traditional mean?

Many men dating Asian ladies have already had failed relationships with Western women. A big fear with these guys is that they will marry another woman who just wants a man's sperm, and the money to buy a big house, a wardrobe full of dresses and enough left over to bring up her kids.

A traditional Asian lady is seen to not possess these traits, which are sadly very common in most Western countries now. Indeed, there probably isn't much of a good reason for any Western man to get married these days. Maybe George Clooney with his 2-3 year relationships with his glamorous girlfriends is probably the 21st century role model we should aspire to.

But more than this, what exactly is a traditional Chinese girl? I guess that in China a traditional girl would be expected to look after her parents. Most girls in Asia are like this - especially if they are single children and have no siblings to share the responsibility. Traditional girls are also expected to remain virgins until after marriage. Finally, a traditional girl will be expected to obey her husband and follow him around.

So far so good, but do these traditional girls exist? And are they worth marrying? Let's look at the issues?

Filial Piety

Ah - the traditional Chinese woman. But is the traditional Chinese woman the best type of Chinese lady to marry?

Filial piety - the process of a child looking after his or her parents in old age is still alive and well in China. Older Chinese people do increasingly have small pensions. But many rely on other family members in old age. The process does sometimes work two ways - grandparents often look after children while their parents go to work.

As far as a traditional Chinese girl goes - filial piety is a huge problem for the man. Money is hard to come by these days, so looking after your prospective bride's parents is an additional expense. Yes the costs of living in China are low, but they are increasing rapidly. And the stuff older Chinese people buy (food, heating oil, healthcare) is increasing in price more than anything else.

A tip here is to find Chinese ladies who have brothers and sisters. That way the burden of looking after the ageing members of the family fall on more than one family member. Best of all is a lady with an older brother!

Thankfully the single child policy isn't as draconian as most Western people think, and it's not difficult to find single Chinese girls with siblings. In fact after having spent time chatting to dozens of Chinese ladies I'd say that women with siblings are very common on Chinese dating sites. Maybe this is because a single child will be frowned upon if she marries a Western man?

Personally filial piety was a huge problem for me in a relationship I had with a Chinese girl. So overlook this issue at your peril.


China is still a relatively conservative place. It's still quite common to find girls who haven't had a relationship or sex or both. While this tradition is pleasing when you consider what many Western girls are like these days, it does have its drawbacks. Girls who haven't had many relationships, or sex, can be hard work at times. If you're an older man then it is often much easier to have a relationship with one of the many separated or divorced ladies. They will be much more used to men and their needs.

Traditional girls will also often shun sex before marriage. This can be a huge turn off for a guy, as marrying a lady you've not (for want of a better phrase) tested out is a gigantic risk.

The Mild, Traditional Chinese Girl

Men think that traditional Chinese girls will be meek and mild. Maybe they'll be submissive in bed?

While these Chinese girls may exist, I must admit I haven't met any so far. The Chinese ladies I have met have been supremely confident, with exceptional social skills. They have been extremely bold and confident. At the same time, they also looked after me well, so in that respect most girls are fairly traditional.

The nearest I came to dating a tradtional girl in this sense was a shy Japanese girl I met. When we were out together she used to walk a few paces behind me. I found it really odd to be honest, and I don't think it's something I could ever get used to. Being traditional also had its drawbacks. As a tradtional girl she was used to relying on the man to make decisions. The result was we spent hours walking around trying to find a restaurant. She was expecting me to choose somewhere to eat. But given I couldn't read any of the restaurant names or menus, it was hard going.

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So, this has been a brief look at Chinese dating and the issue of traditional Chinese women. You can already see that it's a complex area for us men to understand. Want to know more about Chinese women? Chatting to Chinese women online will cost you time and money unless you know what you're doing. Did you know that there are 9 types of Chinese women? Heck - I've seen most of the types of Chinese Love Links and I wonder how many guys choose completely the wrong type of women to date? Which is the best type of Chinese girl to date? The answer will surprise you... Check out Chinese Dating Secrets Exposed for the ultimate guide to dating Chinese women.

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