Top Tips for Writing to an Asian Lady Online

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When looking for an Asian wife online, the most common way to find her is to use an Asian personals site. Once you've found somebody you're interested in then it's time to start communicating with her. The usual way for this is by an email correspondence. On sites such as Filipina Heart where the ladies usually write fairly good English it's easy to send and receive the letters between you. If however you're interested in a Thai or Chinese lady who doesn't write much English then it's more usual to use a translation service. Sites such as Chnlove have a translation service that translates all letters between you and your lady. This is useful if you don't know Chinese, but it can be an expensive process.

The 10 Letter Deadline

When talking to an Asian lady you need to be objective about things. Set yourself a 10 letter deadline. If you don't know if she's the lady for you after these letters then it may be better to move onto another lady.

The 10 letter deadline is much more important when you're using sites like Chnlove that charge you for every letter you send or receive from your lady. In the 10 letter deadline, you need to find out:

  • Does she want to live in your country after marriage (if that's what you want)?
  • Does she have children?
  • Get her to send you natural photos of herself if all she has is airbrushed studio portraits.
  • Try to set up a webcam session so you can prove to yourself that she's real, as well as hear her voice.
  • See if you can communicate with her outside of the letter writing process. See if she has an instant messenger account (QQ in China), or if she's on Facebook. Younger ladies in particular will be much more likely to be knowledgeable about technology. You can then keep the translator emails for important stuff (e.g. planning a trip to meet her) and use other means of sending her fluffy romantic stuff.

While we all appreciate a romantic letter full of fluff, if you keep getting these kinds of letters from your lady then it could indicate:

    She's a scammer and doesn't really exist. Her marriage agency is trying to sting you for extra translation fees by stringing you along with letters that don't say much. When you're getting paid on a per letter basis, why say something in one letter when you could say it in five? Also be aware that fluffy, romantic letters are often reused for correspondence between many potential couples. If you don't see much that is specifically about your lady, you're probably being played for a fool.


When writing letters to your lady, Keep It Simple Stupid!

Asian ladies (except for a lot of Filipinas) find it hard to read English, so keep things as simple as you can. Use short sentences. Avoid the word "but" as much as possible. Non-native speakers find sentences with "but" in quite difficult to understand.

If you're relying on a translation service then keep it simple as well. Marriage agency translators in China or Thailand work long hours for very little money. They are under pressure to hit writing targets. They aren't usually the best translators in the country. Do you really think someone with a 95% English test score would work for a tiny marriage agency? Of course they wouldn't. Asian people with top notch language skills will be working for Western companies with offices in Asia, or in five star hotels etc. etc.

Dig for Information

When you're writing to your Asian lady it's nice to write the romantic stuff. But at the same time you need to be objective. Falling in love with someone you haven't met is dangerous. Firstly it makes you extremely vulnerable to being scammed, and secondly it's best not to build up the lady's hopes too much at this early stage of the relationship.

When you're writing a letter, it's good to do some subtle digging. Each letter should aim to extract a bit more information about herself and her circumstances.

Here's what you should aim to find out in the first 5 letters you send to an Asian lady:

  • Does she want to live in your country after marriage? Yes it's early to start making these sorts of plans, but if she doesn't want to leave her country and you can't live in hers then the relationship is a non-starter.
  • What is her English ability like? Can she speak or write much English (or another Western language). Having a relationship with an Asian lady who speaks little to no English is possible, but it's hard work at times.
  • Does she have children? If so how would your relationship fit round them? Be aware that Filipinas in particular often lie about having children - it's easy to lie about such matters as in much of Asia the grandparents tend to bring up the kids.
  • Do her parents approve of her plans to find a Westerrn husband? In particular, Chinese ladies have parents that are often disapproving of their relationship with a Westerner, particularly if the girl is single and not previously married (but parents of older ladies can be just as difficult!) Usually when you meet the parents then they can be won over, but if you'd rather not get involved with complicated family politics then choose another lady.

Something to bring up later in the correspondence is what sort of financial support her parents and other family members would require if you were to marry your Asian lady. Don't wait until after engagement or marriage to discuss this - it could be a show stopper!

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So when you're writing to an Asian lady, remember to:

  • Keep it simple.
  • Seek facts, not fluff.
  • Save the real romantic stuff for later in the relationship.

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